• Lily Boland

To an internal misogynist

Can you explain to me why you, a girl, likes to fight other girls? It’s something I can’t understand. Why do women want to tear down, defame, humiliate, and tarnish the reputation of fellow women? Is it for shits and giggles? Because you have low self-value and don’t love yourself? Do we as women not already have so many forces against us (i.e. patriarchy, in case you forgot)? Why do we need to turn against one another when the world is so inherently against us?

To answer for you, I’ll pull a quote from a feminist I admire, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie:

“We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”

You, internal misogynist, were raised to see other girls as competitors for the attention of men. You compare yourself to other women, ones who appear threatening to you because they either have things you lack, get male attention, or challenge your fragile self-esteem by simply existing. That seems like a really sad life. It’s a life I’m glad I don’t partake in. You tried to tear down my friend, tried to defame me. But you can’t tear down two strong pillars beaming with self love and sisterhood.

What you did was wrong. Your defamation techniques included ridiculing other girls’ private lives.

What one woman decides to do with her body is no concern of yours. How dare you slut shame based off of hearsay. How dare you spread that hearsay with a slut-shaming vocabulary. You act like a woman-hating male when you do that, dragging in random rumors and comments about her sex life when you’re coming at her for something completely different. Take the gender out of your argument. How dare you try to open a dialogue against one girl’s private sexual life simply because you are mad at her for an unrelated reason. To make a compelling argument you must make your points concise. Argumentative writing 101; don’t drag irrelevant material in, it just makes your thesis crumble.

If you wanted to criticize her intelligence, ill-will, deceptiveness, then go for it. Criticize her but only to the point where you’re not criticizing her for being a woman. Don’t drag her sex life into it, call her ugly, and other demeaning terms men have thrown our way since Eve ate the fucking apple. We’ve developed a thick skin to men’s blunt words but we girls have the power to inflict sharp wounds from the shards of our icy mouths. We possess a silver tongue with a flair for the theatrics. It’s a blessing and a curse. I’d be genuinely happy if you had used your tongue to spout words of intellect and fact. Instead you created conflict between girls for no reason.

You see, for all of time, lies are deemed useless, personae consequently disappear. If people understand each other, conflicts consequently disappear. So stop putting on a misogynistic personae. Learn to understand your fellow women because men clearly have failed at this seemingly simple, conflict eliminating action.

The minute you come for women out of jealousy, spite, and competition, you’ve already lost. At that point, the only arguments you can make are against her womanhood; gender stereotypes and tired, overused insults. It’s 2018, stop slut shaming your fellow girls. Stop criticizing them for being women! Consolidate your anger into logical insults that take gender out of the equation.

You threaten women. You compete with them. You insult them because they are female. You, my fellow girl, are an internal misogynist. And your actions only perpetuate this corrupt patriarchal world we suffer in. Find some self love, and use it to love women. Use your intelligence and not the women-hating, conditioned thoughts that society raised you with.

Good luck.

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