• Anonymous

Stop asking who got raped. Start asking who raped.

Why is it that in rape cases, the first inquiry is always about the victim, and not the assaulter? Is the identity of the person who was assaulted somehow, more relevant than that of the person who did the assaulting? Rape is rape no matter who each individual(s) is, but there are a few concerns to wanting to know the identity of the victim before the assaulter:

1. Invasion of victim's privacy

Stop invading the victim's privacy. Their privacy was already invaded once when their body was used without their consent. It is important to remember that by constantly asking about the victim and the details of their rape, we are perpetuating the notion that victims are the ones that should be pried apart.

2. Perpetuating rape culture

Rape culture has taught us to question whether a victim is lying before questioning whether or not an accused rapist is lying. Rape is the only crime where we question the victim more than we question the rapist because there's a misconception that somehow, the victim could've stopped their own rape.

Victims are never responsible for their rape - no amount of drinking, revealing clothing, or "lack of assertiveness" can make a victim responsible. Rapists are responsible for rape. Not victims.

3. Not holding the rapist accountable

Rapes are crimes which go highly unreported, and even when they are, a rapist is unlikely to be charged or to end up in prison. These are flaws in the legal system, and difficult for us to change. What we can do, however, is hold rapists accountable for their actions. Not only is it important because it limits them from getting away with their crime(s) and repeating them, but this is also a form of support for the victim.

4. Disregarding our own safety

There's a tendency to want to know who the victim is; we're all curious and nosy. But in the most selfish of worlds - wouldn't we rather find out who the assaulter is to know to stay away? What good is it going to bring us to know who the victim is? They're ultimately not the one who could potentially cause us (or the ones we love) harm.

Why does it matter who got raped? A rape happened. Isn't what matters more, who did the raping?

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